Sunday, March 29, 2015

Gazzy the Fire Dragon Comes Out of the Closet

Coming Soon

I saw a television news crew setting up shop on Times Square.  The thought hit me to go tell them my story, to try to set things straight, even though it could backfire and make my human persona an outlaw throughout the world.  But it was a sacrifice I knew I had to make, in order to allow the peoples of the world feel safe again. 
Getting the news crew to believe my wild story would be a tricky proposition.  I was sure they’d seen their fair share of weirdoes on the streets of Manhattan.  They’d probably never believe my tale anyway.  I almost talked myself into walking right past them, but for some reason I couldn’t resist the urge to talk.
     
“Excuse me, miss,” I said to the pretty young reporter.
    
“We don’t have time, sir,” she shushed me away without even looking at me.  “We’re in the middle of a story here.”

“I have some very important news,” I insisted.
     
“Call the hotline.  The number’s on the truck.”
     
“I can give you a scoop,” I promised.
     
“I can yell for a cop,” she volleyed, finally looking at me, with an old fashioned New York hairy eye.
     
“Look lady, just here me out,” I tried pleading.
     
“Look yourself,” she interrupted me.  “We don’t have time for your bullshit.  We’re very busy, if you haven’t noticed.  News is news and you’re obviously not newsworthy.  Scum.”
     
“I can explain the dragon attacks,” I pressed on, ignoring her negativity.
     
“You’re wasting my time,” she barked.  “Officer!”
     
Seeing I was getting nowhere with the stubborn reporter, I turned away.  But when I saw two policemen rushing me, I jumped into the air and turned into a fire dragon.   I had no desire to spend another night in jail.

Within seconds panic ensued.  People were screaming and running in every direction.  I hovered in midair and watched the spectacle.  The reporter and her cameraman stood their ground.  She started talking into her microphone and the cameraman started shooting me.  The cops had their guns drawn but hesitated firing them. 
     
I stayed there, hovering, until most of the people were far away.  A few brave souls stayed, to record what would happen next, with their smartphones.  I wasn’t in the mood to disappoint. 

I flew just past the highest skyscrapers and did a magnificent three-sixty.  I then dive-bombed the square, and laughed as the remaining folks covered their heads with their hands and ducked, as if that would’ve saved them.  Just before impact, I turned into knight form and landed right next to the reporter.
     
The lady stood there completely dumbfounded, stuttering and stammering to get her question out.  I made my best superhero pose for the camera and stood there as more folks started pouring back into the square to take a once in a lifetime video. 

Finally, the reporter gathered herself enough to ask her question.  “Who are you?”
    
“I am the Fire Dragon, Gazzy Windstorm.”
     
“Are you here to destroy us?” she asked nervously, before she placed the mic at my mouth with her arm extended full length to stay as far away from me as possible.
     
“No.” I answered.  “Quite the contrary, actually I have come to save you.”
     
“It doesn’t seem that way, with all the destruction you’ve caused,” she tried to play the hardened reporter role.
     
“That is why I am talking to you now; I need to set the record straight.”
     
“The floor is yours,” she said, before giving me the mic and then running to hide behind her cameraman.
     
“People of New York, people of the Earth, I have not come to hurt you.  I am the Fire Dragon.  I destroyed all the nuclear weapons on Earth to set you free from the specter of death held over you by your governments.  A new age has begun.  The age of the Fire Dragon!  I shall not allow anymore wars to take place on this planet.  Governments of the world must stand down or face my consequences.  I am indestructible.  My will shall not be denied.  I will not harm innocent people nor will I allow governments or militaries to harm innocent people.  I have not come to lord over you or rule you.  I am simply your protector.”
     
Some of the people began catcalling me and throwing things, but a small group began applauding.  Their applause grew louder as more people joined in until they drowned out the haters, who then quieted.  I was humbled to say the least.  But that was not why I was there.  I handed the microphone back to the reporter and nodded that it was alright for her to ask me follow up questions.
     
“Are you an alien?  Do you have a UFO?”
     
“No and no,” I responded.  “I am a flesh and blood human being that was transformed into a dragon by a dying witch.  I can switch back and forth between human, undead knight and dragon forms, at will.  What I did with my powers was my own business.  I’ve chosen to protect humans.  I’ve been busy for years, stopping wars and ridding the world of aggressive warmongers.  Most people thought my actions were from the hand of god, but I am done hiding.  It is time the world knew the truth.  It is time for governments to be responsible and to stop fighting over stupid things like oil and energy and money and borders and religions and race.  Now is the time for peace or the time for wrath.  I pray the governments of the world choose wisely.”
     
Applause erupted once again and I nodded my approval.  The reporter looked at me and asked me if there was anything else I wanted to add and I said, “You should know that the presidents of Russia and the United States were planning on starting World War Three.  That is why I am making my presence known.  I’ve already taken care of the Russian president, but the American president is in hiding.  He planned on conquering Canada and Mexico while Russia attacked the countries of the former Soviet Union.  I have audio recordings to back that up that I will make available to you soon.  Everyone should know that the president is an evil traitor, willing to put innocent lives at risk to pursue his own political gains.”
     
“That is hard to believe, Mr. Fire Dragon,” the reporter asked incredulously.  “Can you elaborate?”
     
“That is all I have to say for now.  I will get the audio to you as soon as tomorrow and then everyone can make their own decisions as to whether or not I have done the right thing.  Thank you for your time.”
     
“Sir, sir,” the reporter called, but I ignored her. 

I was done with the interview and disappeared right in front of them.  The crowd buzzed with excitement, so I ran until I found a spot that was clear of people.  I didn’t want to burn anyone when I jumped into the air and transformed into fire dragon form. 
I’d just blown the collective minds of the people of the world.  If I was going to be a marked man, then so be it.  I was ready for whatever they threw my way.

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